Grace not Perfection: Finding Forgiveness for Yourself
Why is it that most of us are so good at giving other’s a million and a half passes for the mistakes our friends make but when it comes to ourselves, we feel the need to have this higher standard of perfection? If your BFF decided to leave the house without doing her hair or make up, would you be absolutely appalled, mortified to be around her? No, when she put herself down (like we all do) you tell her “shut up! You look great! Make up is so overrated!”
When your sister struggles losing the baby weight after her second baby, do you give her the side eye when she reaches for a mercy cookie after she’s made it through another day? No you wouldn’t, you hand her TWO!
We don’t expect perfection from anyone else, WHY US!?
Why, why, whyyyyyyyy is it that when we do these things ourselves, we beat ourselves up worse than I even mentioned above!? I don’t know. But I will tell you what, I think we should figure it out and quit that shit cold turkey.
This came into my mind as I’m currently making another attempt at ketogenic way of eating recently now that my pissed off gallbladder is out and I’m feeling back to normal. I was headed home after picking up Elli at daycare, I realized my air conditioning was out in my minivan AGAIN. And it was 90 degrees out. So I threw my hands in the air and as we approached Sonic, I pulled in. I ordered the kids each a blast and then said “to hell with it” and order myself a mini blast too.
I handed Elli hers, set Cooper’s aside for pick up and picked up my spoon. First bite was delicious, then my mind started. I started beating myself up about quitting everything and telling myself what a failure I was for eating it. Suddenly, I stopped my thoughts. I was having a TREAT and the entire time I was eating it, I was bashing myself so viciously, I wasn’t even able to enjoy it.
I put it down and took a deep breath. The cold ice cream had felt so good after being in the hot car, blowing hot air. What I finally spoke out loud to my self was “Give yourself a break Jill. Put the guilt and BS aside and enjoy this for what it is, a simple treat” I’d be lying if I said I made it through the rest of it completely negativity free but I focused on being better and will continue to do so.
Moral of my story here. We HAVE to quit holding ourselves to this stupid, crazy, perfect standard. It doesn’t start with your friend or your sister, it starts with you. Live life for what it is, an imperfect, wonderful, messy experience. Love each moment fiercely and love yourself as much or MORE than you do the ones around you.
Give yourself the grace you afford everyone else. I love you and I sincerely hope you love you too!